i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
