I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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