She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
