Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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