I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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