just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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