; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize