Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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