Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
