just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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