so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i think im in europe. pls send help
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