I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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