Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
