I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
