dude i'm inner monologue high
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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