i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
