Buhtt sex?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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