Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
