Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
