Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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