Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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