I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
