exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
