ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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