DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize