My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
