I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
