Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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