69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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