AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize