once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i believe in u and ur pee
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
