dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
