why didn't you poke me back
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
