Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Enjoy the penises
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
