The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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