she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
