you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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