I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I can't turn off my feet"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize