I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
