Porn is love you can see.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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