Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
