I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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