Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
