wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
