could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
