we're blogging at a bar
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At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
