I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
