Nicole vs. Life
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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