addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
