YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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