It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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