Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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