My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
