Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
