Kiss
Puke
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize