A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
