No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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