youre lurking in front of me
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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