u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
